Tuesday, November 30, 2010

No Tutorials, what the heck?

So, I have time in and time out said that this blog would feature occasional tutorials or recipes. Little did I know that I would mess so many things up when I tried them, that there would be more, "How Not To Do" things than "How To". Because of this fact, I have occasionally joked about my inability to do things, and linked to websites with great tutorials. Well now has come the time to gather what I have learned and give a little insight to my readers.

How not to light a fire in the fireplace: 
Cardboard boxes, lighter fluid and a closed flue.
When we first moved in we were eager to try our fireplace. Luckily we had it inspected otherwise I believe my husband would have blown us up. Once the flue was safely opened and the interior of the chimney was checked, he realized we had no fire wood.. did this stop him? Momentarily. Then he gathered all of our moving boxes, some newspapers, and the lighter fluid, then threw in a match.. who need's lights when your husband is a pyromaniac? Thank God he was smart enough to only add a little cardboard at a time.

How not to store books:
On the Second Shelf of a bookcase
My daughter is grabby. Silly me thought that if she kept toys and baby books on the bottom shelf, she would ignore the next shelf. HAHAHA. If she can reach it she grabs it. I now only keep books on the top 2 shelves, leave on empty and one for her. Yes, this eliminates storage, and the purpose of holding all our books on one book case, however our family concordance (kind of like an encyclopedia of Bible stuff) fell on her foot and that made me find a new home for them.

How not to make "leftover  mixed up crayons":
In an open frying pan that you like to cook with
We made the mistake when we first moved in of attempting to make some multicolor crayons for my daughter and neice.. My thought was that they would melt a little bit and then all the colors would become swirly and cool to draw with. Well, no, they all mixed together to make some really ugly colors.. I had sorted by shades so instead of cool blues purples and greens, I got a dark blue. Instead of warm reds, oranges and pinks, I got burnt sienna and instead of Yellows and Greens, I got poop green. The only good idea I had was to use some of our surplus of ice cube trays because then I didn't ruin the cupcake tins. PS I can't get the colors or smell out of that pan...

More coming soon!

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